I'm the new NEXT BIG THING blog!

The Next Big Thing blog tour

My thanks to Linda Stanek for tagging me in The Next Big Thing blog tour! This blog tour began in Australia and features authors' and illustrators' current book projects. I really enjoyed her answers to these questions and hope I don't bore anyone to tears with mine.... Here we go.

1) What is the working title of your next book?

The two books I'm working on are: Duke Day for Annie and Sara, Leclere. I hope to have them out relatively the same time (within a month or so of each other).

2) Where did the idea come from for the book?

Sara is a midgrade, and who knew my childhood is considered historical fiction. Okay, not all of it. However when talking with some writer friends about some of the inspirations for characters, some of the people who'd inspired my character Teedie was Ann and her family. In talking about Ann's childhood, most of my friends' hit me over the head with a wet noodle telling me I was missing one of the stories right in front of me (yah, I'm smart that way). I reconnected with Ann who was living at the Barron Center in Portland because her disease had progressed to the bed-ridden stage. She was still a ray of sunshine, inspiring, a positive energy in the face of any adversity. After talking to Ann, she was thrilled with the idea, and helped me until she passed away from multiple sclerosis. I've written extensively about this whole process here on this blog, so you can scroll if you'd like to learn a bit more.

3) What genre does your book fall under? 

Sara is a historical midgrade fiction, for a slightly older or advanced reader. Annie is a historical faction picture book. It's based upon a real person, some real events in a real place. But because of the nature of it all (Old Orchard's face would sometimes change a few times a year from fires and natural disasters' for instance) there is a little artistic license.

4) What actors would you choose to play the part of your characters in a movie rendition?

Hadn't thought about this one, lol, though I guess there are picture books made into movies (Polar Express and Hugo Cabret). I thought I was pretty good to sketch out my characters in my midgrade, they're real people and live in a real, though totally fabricated town, in my head.

5) What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book? 

Sara is a coming of age story as she struggles with all the problems a thirteen year old girl can have in such a tumultuous time, including wanting her sour grandmother's approval and how to keep the kitten she's attached to. In Duke Day, it's about a young girl anticipating and getting ready for a famous visitor in an active family and charming sea side town, in Maine.

6) Who is publishing your book?

After years of the traditional route, I've decided to go the self-publishing route. The works have had a lot of editorial input, won scholarships and had good reader response, and I won't put it out unless it's the best I can do right now. 

7) How long did it take you to create the illustrations?

The short answer is a few months. The truthful answer is a lifetime, and a number of years specifically. I needed to master Photoshop enough to make work I was comfortable with, and I'm looking for a specific feeling, that I've finally nailed. I also just finished a wonderful online course with Will Terry and Jake Parker, I know will benefit this and any future books on Visual Storytelling, so I'm stoked!

8) What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

Ellington is not a Street (Ntozake Shange, author, Kadir Nelson, illustrator)  I love and look at Kadir Nelson and Floyd Cooper's work a lot, so though I can in no way compare mine to theirs, they did help inspire me. Or Duke Ellington: the Piano Prince and his Orchestra by Andrea and Brian Pinkney

9) Who or what inspired you to write this book?

For Sara it was thinking how many mixed messages and conflations kids nowadays have to deal with. And though the times were very different, I realized I had pretty much the same challenges, perhaps this could be a way to relate history to the present, something I think needs to happen a lot more. We didn't get here all of a sudden. Knowing history helps us make more considered choices, I think. And the similar thought with Annie. The real Ann Cummings Searcy was a friend and an inspiration. She came from an accomplished family. Her grandfather was Shurtleff Emerson, the famous abolitionist and relative to Ralph Waldo. Duke had asked her to be a singer in his group, and her mother decided that wasn't the safest move for a lovely young woman, no matter how kind Mr. Ellington was, and instead she became the first state certified teacher in the Maine. Her brother was a well-known and respected local Republican and teacher in Scarborough, Maine and has a bit of highway named for him. He was a life long friend of Ed Muskie.

10) What else about the book might pique the reader's interest?

I wrote the book in what I call syncopated rhyme which I hope is successful, in honor of Duke Ellingtion's signature style. Old Orchard Beach is not only a beautiful ocean side town, it's fun to see other times, I think, and this is an important bit of history that's not often reported on, the entrepreneurship of people like Ann's mom Rose Cummings.

I also hope people check out my first book, Nana's Gift!

Thanks again, Linda for tagging me!  Up next the wonderful Lisa Kopelke, author of Excuse Me! and Tissue Please! and A Younger Brother's Survival Guide!

lisakopelke.blogspot.com/‎

Make like a baby and head out!

Crude joke that always made me laugh as a kid. But it's so appropriate for this post. I FEEL like a baby with lots of the processes, whether it's playing with Photoshop or learning the various social media (something a creative artist needs to do in order to get their work out). There was a time to say anything about my art or writing was to be considered "arrogant, and full of myself" but how do people know to support you, unless you share that with them, so I'm now in the uncomfortable mode of figuring out how to share my work without being too full of myself, because it's always been a bit of an "either or" for me. Anyhow, now that I'm beginning to blog consistently, I'd been brainstorming how to increase content. (one idea is asking some of my writing and illustrating friends about their process or studio-- something I'm nosy about, as well as likes, what do you think? Are you nosy about that stuff to? If so I want to think up some of the less asked questions and those that wouldn't take a long time or thought to respond to as most are very busy!). One idea was to take some of the things my friends love and have photos of, as well as my interests and combine them for my coloring pages. This week will be my daughter's love of sloths and my friend Nadine Hays photos from where she lives (she's the author of Happier Than a Billionaire). Next week is either turtles or horses, that kind of thing.

Anyhow, I'd promised to change the header out every few months, and wanted to keep that promise. It forces me to create new content, and means I'm practicing at becoming quicker at producing finished art. The wonderful class that I'm taking from the School of Visual Storytelling is winding down, and this is one of the assignments (way to go! three tiered multitasking!), though I added the book, because it fits the storyline of a distracted protag and my blog.

So a little bit of the process:

Now if I wasn't under a time constraint, what I should have done is a FEW versions of this. I could have made the silhouettes of the dog and perhaps the girl's face a little stronger, and that may have had a better impact. But I set the time limit on the header pieces at 5-7 hours. The first few may end up being rough, but I hope and suspect they will get better as I do more.  When I used to work with colored pencils I worked in a grisaille fashion. That's laying the values in then laying the color on top. I work that way in Photoshop as well:

I'm trying more and more to lay the color in properly. Part of the problem is my programs aren't properly loaded, and the old computer I'm working on won't let me uninstall and reinstall anything, and it's not mine. This may or may not become a moot point next week, if MY old computer is fixed. But for now, one really shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. Next came the color. I'd been thinking of the spread for Annie I'm working on and will blog when it's finished, probably part one this week, the second part next week as I'll be redoing it to see if what I see in my head, I've figured how to render it) and thought I'd see if I could make it work in this piece. I could not. Hence next weeks's post and redo...

I could see room for improvements, and will make those changes and change out the bottom part of my banner to reflect the new character of the piece, as well as the fact that I write AND illustrate, though I'm tending to concentrate on the art process for now in my blogging. Expect to put it up sometimes today, either before or after my last heartbreaking class with Will and Jake. It was such a wonderful thing. I learned a great deal from the process, some of which most definitely will follow through in my work...

Check out my new header! And notice my new logo! A suggestion from Jake Parker, which I think is a great one, as I do a few different things. I had fun!

On genius, daemons and amusing muses (reprint from my Facebook oped)

When I was a kid and people talked about my "gifts"  as if I were a monkey savant. Rarely was there praise for what I did, because it was a gift after all, and not something I'd actually worked for and no one wanted it "going to my head". Agnes could sing, could draw, do all manner of things in a surprising manner (so much so that if I was too "good" at it they took it away because it was "unnatural"). The adults deliberately praised other's abilities and rarely heard about my own, again that "swelled head." 

There were tons of missed opportunities, and nurturing any talents I had was lackdaisickle at best. I worked hard, and if I wanted my "gifts" to grow, I was the one that invested in the money, time and effort. On this side of the fence, precious little was given to me, because the other side of the fence had stacked the deck, so it seemed.

To say I was a pissed off kid and young adult would be an understatement.

There were many other dark and dire sitiuations in my life that made my art a necessary tool to survival. But you wouldn't know that by my art. My truths and realities and thoughts and feelings were far too large or far too underground for me to instill into anything my hands created. 

I detested the dank and dirty, the moldy and decaying of life, I wanted only to reflect the glowing and the affirming. I wanted--- want to only uplift, move on, move forward, do well, seek approval, BE LOVED.

As I grew up upon moving out, I wrestled with the idea of my art(s) being other than myself or being so totally me, that was how I defined myself. (Motherhood and my art, that's me, I dunno if I'll ever be able to see myself differently). I was able to acknowledge that often times it DOES feel like something other than me. 

A case in point for a project I hope to bring to fruition this year. Duke Day for Annie.

A life-time in the making. A friendship, lots of conversations, admiration, I sat with Ann when she sang at Deli One often times, and later, my young daughters and I would visit her at the Barron's Center. Talking about another project (Sara LeClere, my midgrade novel, yep still in progress) I was chatting on a message board with friends about the sources for the characters and was talking about Ann and her family and how they'd informed my character Teedie and her family. A few pointed out that there most definitely a book in Ann's story. The more I thought about it, the more I realized they were right.

I interviewed her, took notes, drew some drawings. Motherhood, the loss of my mother and bunches of other things interfered. 

Besides, what qualified me to tell her story? I mean yeah, I loved and intimately knew Old Orchard Beach. I knew, loved and understood Annie.  I wasn't black though (yet we shared white and Native American roots), I hadn't lived during the Depression (but  I could SEE it, FEEL it, from lots of conversations with my grandmother and others of her generation). And I wasn't a REAL writer. 

Was I?

I went to work as a seasonal in hopes of being hired permanently (nope) at L.L. Beans. I ran into someone who knew Ann too, had worked at Deli One. Decided to bring in the working dummy to show him (he'd been an English Major way back when). I brought it in and showed him and he said "Yes it is sad, she died."I'd lost touch with her and had no idea. She'd died two days prior and her obituary was in the paper that day. I could feel myself get progressively sick from that moment on. By the time I got home I was massively ill. Within a day I was delirious with fever. I dunno if it was guilt or what. I remember though just being totally preoccupied with the fact that Ann had died and I hadn't known about it. And the lack of momentum of this project. Realize also I very rarely get a fever, but if I do, I should seek medical care (nope, didn't). Sometime, somewhere in the middle of the delirium a crystal thought, feeling, SOMETHING came to me. It was my story to tell, and Hillel echoed in my ears "If not me, then WHO?"  

Then the first line came to me "Sun's up, Out of bed!"

The fever broke shortly after that and I've been working on it since. I dream or zone a lot of my work and ideas. So I DO work hard, but I also think this is a gift.

I've always been fearful people would find me a fraud. I don't know if that came from the fact that people treat me like a savant (I guess my outer demeanor and appearance is a weird reconcile to what they think of my work). Or whatever this thing that has been with me my whole life would decide to abandon me and I'm alone. I lost my singing voice (though I sing out of spite sometimes still). I see all kinds of things and usually differently, so it's been a strange wobbly line, this life of mine and I didn't know if I wanted to forget about it, or just embrace the difficult, the challenge, the fear or what I am-- different. Hence all this posts about embracing the fear. Yup, I decided.

Some have liked me BECAUSE of my gifts. My husband's first thoughts when I told him I sang and drew was "SURE, ya do!"  He said he was pleasantly surprised because I actually did what I said I did. Of course there's been no money in it, and in this economy, that's a hard sell for a hard working man. The addendum to this post has been the marriage hasn't survived, and the double dog dare is to not let anger run my life. I've not been as successful at that one as I'd like to be.

But a friend just shared a clip from TED (I'll share it here too), and it was a little more of the transformation I hope to achieve at this point in my life. I'd been RESENTFUL of my muse, genius, daemon. I'd not honored that part of my soul, that aperture if it's not a part of me, then what let's that in, AT ALL. I've been so fearful and driven to try to find a way out of our dire financial straits I've just chased my bushy tail around in ever tightening circles. I've allowed other people to belittle me to the point where, even now, I struggle with not feeling a failure and worthless, when that isn't even MINE. I've always known I'm not, but have surrounded myself with poison fruit so I've never strayed far from the tether upon my neck, the making of pretty things.

Except my life has been far too rich for that. There are times I've been in the mire. Stood in the manure. Mucked through the decay. You can't have beauty without ALL of the experience. I've been derisive of "pretty" because it has little meaning. But beauty is something we can all see, accept, acknowledge and it actually has meaning to us. 

Listening to Elisabeth Gilbert speak opened up something. Perhaps I am able to do the things I do not only because I'm remarkable, but because I see the remarkable in ALL that I see. And perhaps that is my purpose. Perhaps the genie that has fled, whether it's of me or out of me, will come and stand next to my heart if I start telling my truth and let the feelings shine. And perhaps if that works, that is my purpose. I've met so many who cloud their glow as I have done. It's sad when one loves thugs and browbeaters, because if they have the upperhand you WILL be beaten down if you stay. But if thugs and browbeaters learn to love themselves, then perhaps they can become the shining heros they were meant to be. For now, I've turned down the path of the road less taken, and my muse accompanies me, more and more often.

Have to go let my muse in. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86x-u-tz0MA&feature=share

Trepidation Sunday

I had been hoping to be knee deep in my book so it could be published by September. That deadline may still happen if I sit down and keep at it, but it may be slightly later. There is a fine line between acquiring skills, doing the research and taking the time to do your best work, and procrastinating.

One would think that weren't true, unless you realize somethings are just so big. There are about a ten projects in various stages, but after Nana's Gift, this is the oldest and most dear.

It's genesis was when I was a young grrl,  when I used to visit with Ann. She was inspirational in ways I have a hard time describing. I could call her "bubbly", but you might infer "frivolous" and perhaps it's a fine distinction, but she truly was effervescent. It was so hard to be depressed around her. When I would go to Deli One, I literally would have a dollar to my name to spend, but loved listening to the music (and had a bit of a crush on the jazz bass player), and it was the only social time I had, as I was in art school, dealing with family problems and working full-time, that covered my expenses. I would nurse one cup of tea, and sitting with Ann gave me cover or I would have been thrown out, but the restaurant did institute a one refill of hot water because of me.

Years later visiting The Barron Center, because Ann's multiple sclerosis had developed to the point she was bed ridden, she hadn't changed from the woman who shared her music and stories. There were times I'd go in, and she would be blind. The nature of the disease, she didn't know if she'd ever get her sight back. She was still Ann, the effervescent, the drop of sunshine. She spoke of how a town she taught school in, wrote a petition to not sell her a house because of the color of her skin, and how one grateful student's parent sold her the home she came to live in. She talked of how her brother had to go out of state (not Eddie, he was the only one to not go to college, but that was because he didn't want to, but Emerson, who has a strip of highway named after him in Scarborough, Maine). When he was friends with Ed Muskie, he had a bit of coverage, but when the University found out he was tutoring Muskie, the made the rule "no coloreds" could play the piano. She dealt with a life time of these attitudes, gracefully, full of humor, not letting anyone define her, so what chance did a stupid disease have?

And how do you honor someone like that? I spent a good portion of my time feeling not worthy. I'm a wicked whiner, sometimes. What I saw and heard in my head, I didn't really have the skill to accommodate. But I couldn't let it go. She was MY friend. Old Orchard Beach is one of MY favorite places, I know this place, people, history it's what I daydream about, all those lovely stories (remember all the other projects, lol).

The divide was so far apart.

The first line popped into my head though from a dream and I began writing. After she'd passed, more of the book "popped" in my head. A conversation with a couple of experts and their comments that I knew more about it than they did, further bolstered me. I didn't want it all to be lost.

After that I created a dummy. This is the original drawing from the dummy of the spread I'm working on now:

There was a lot of rewriting, some editorial comment and near misses, I stopped drawing and put it away, not sure what I wanted to do. Then I learned Photoshop and decided I could self publish.

I chose this spread as the first, there were few changes to be made, it was designed how I wanted it to appear. Also, the one that follows it should help me get into the "continuity" swing of things.

There are quite a few challenges for me with this book. It's a work of fiction and fact, so the facts have to be correct and the fiction plausible. And Ann is no longer here to corroborate. Old Orchard Beach changed from year to year, so getting a picture of what it actually looked like at the time was a challenge as well, and there's only one photo reference of Ann with Eddie. It is important to me, the character actually reflect her, in body and in spirit. Some of the editorial comment wanted more to do with Duke, but you know she didn't reminisce about that as much, other than the singing  and him taking her on the rides. I won't manufacture what she didn't tell me. Another challenge, my life has fallen apart in the last few years, so piecing together what I have is even harder as some of it is scattered, and the means to get from here to there or even work on it has become a hurdle.

This is actually a history of people and my friend, I believe was an important part of that history, though she would probably denoue it. I will get this done (and hopefully all my other projects, daunting and wonderful in their own way), but realize I feel unworthy every step of the way. I fear I will spend my heart and soul on this, my desperation of situation my shine through instead what I want to: What it is to be a kid looking forward and embracing the possibilities and problems of her life. People will notice the book and then I will not only be the one thinking I'm unworthy of the project. Or worse, people won't notice at all.

But the words, "if not me, then who?" keeps ringing in my ears.

So, I waited for this class (that was a good choice, this will be a much better book for it.). I played with some of the angles per the lesson on perspective, trying to make it more dramatic (why do I want to say DRAW-MATIC, lol, I have such a punny brain!). It still didn't work.

I have the challenge of designing a book that can be printed so the spreads read together and well. But also the spreads can be divided in half and the book still reads well, in the e-format. I think I've mostly done this on the piece, especially in light of the spread/two pages to follow it. I realized I was putting off FINISHING IT. I decided I would write about it (accountability!) and then FINISH IT. I will share the next few incarnations and the finished piece in the next blog post. I shall embrace my freakin' fear, and I hope the love and honor I feel comes through the work. Wish me the best!

Part 1: Do as I say, if you want to do as I do, at least a little bit...Newbie 101

A while back I wrote an article for SCBWI on "The Syns of Writing",  the title being a mash-up and pun all at once. For the longest time, I felt guilty for needing or wanting more for my creative self. I will say that a part of my writing process has been giving myself permission to create.

Taking yourself seriously brings on a whole host of thoughts.

If you write for yourself alone, there is no one or nothing other than yourself to please. But writing for publication is a totally different animal. It's a fine line between writing for a particular audience--- your audience--- and simply crafting for the crowd. I say that knowing there's a rainbow inbetween as well. To some people writing (or illustration) is a living, so taking a self-fulfilling job may be lower on the list than generating an income. Others, of the Stephen King variety their shopping list will find a loyal readership. Only YOU decide what this means to you and your pocket book.

But if you do it "fer reals", you must take it seriously. That means the discipline of working (and sometimes hacking) at it every day. It also means keep learning and preferably from the best, especially as THEY are your competition.

At least that's not as hard or as expensive as, say, becoming a doctor. A library card, time and practice is on your side. You cannot improve without investing yourself. Another great investment is finding at least one, or a few people who you trust with your creative self and opinions can tell you when you need to work on something or can beam at  what you set down. Nothing like a great critique group or beta reader to keep you honest about your work. And consider it practice at the reviews you hope to get when your work is published and people flock to view and read it.

Many people know the above, many people don't. I add this because there is a beginning to writing and it's easy to lose sight of that. I revisit lessons not nearly as well-learned and it really is a consideration to becoming conscious about your process. If I had a dime (inflation) for every time someone said "I'm thinking about writing, illustrating," I'd not monetize this account. So redundant is good (hey, Will Terry OFTEN says stuff that I "know" but for one reason or another have not fully complied. His explanations really got through when all the other,"you must do A to be B to get to C " *said in drone voice*, hadn't. So there may be a drip drip to some of the posts I share, but it's the confluence that gets the momentum and I appreciated this kind of stuff when I was starting out, even when I didn't do it).

Today I'll talk a little bit abut my present wip, and ongoing about the illustrations for this, as well as some of my design work for my online stores. Who knows? Perhaps one day they'll take off, lol (Till then I'm practicing what I preach and learning some great stuff). In a few weeks, I'll be able to write/edit my midgrade, so I will talk about longer works. I've also thought I'll illustrate this book now, and if I have the resources, ability later, this (Annie) would make a wonderful app). If I do that, I will be sharing that process, as well. I'm moving this week and starting an intensive class next week, (when it rains it pours, don't it!) So will blog twice today (another TWOFER!) plan a review or two, learn to schedule posts to post their ownselves and hopefully even if I'm offline next week and perhaps the week after, the habit of JOURNALING which really helps clarify and adds to my discipline will take root

 My next post will be my process of writing Annie and I will take one stanza and show the changes and thinking process.